Flattery

Proverbs 29:5

A man who flatters his neighbor
spreads a net for his feet.

Flattery, as used here, is a tool by which to deceive. It is the tool by which to earn favor or to hide real intentions. In this case, an unscrupulous neighbor uses flattery to set up the downfall of his unsuspecting neighbor.

The proverb raises the matter of how seemingly good words can be used maliciously. Praise, which should be a means of showing due honor and encouragement, is twisted into shallow, even devious speech. Words intended to build up others are used to either make fools of them or tear them down.


The further harm of flattery is that it spurs its opposite to take place - rudeness. If flattery lays nets, then should we not avoid praise altogether? Should not our greater concern be to tell the truth? Truth does matter, but we are commanded to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). We are commanded to build up one another. The Apostle Paul, who clearly did not avoid speaking what needed to be heard, also took the time to praise the very people he corrected.

The cure for flattery is not rude "truth-telling," but speaking the truth in love. It is looking for what is truly good to praise in a person. The protection against flattery is to find one's value in the love of God, not in the praises of neighbors, even if the praises are true and sincere.